husband doesn t want to go on family vacationnesn bruins pregame show hosts

Statistically, the most dangerous part of this trip is the car drive to the airport. Some people may have only a negative perception of Vegas, but the important thing is realizing that kneejerk perception is actually inaccurate. I agree. These dudes tend to not understand how little theyre contributing in any significant fashion, and theyre shockedshocked!when the women theyre with realize whats going on and leave them. Case in point: my father is terrified of everyone he loves dying and leaving him alone, to the point where I, as a 32 year old, was expected to text him and let him know when I left work, when I got home from work, if I was going out, if I was changing locations, etc. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. by Christy Cox for Divorced Moms. Bigger point being ITS NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS and not their place to weigh in. If I had to plan something like this myself, itd be at the top of my list for a lot of very practical reasons. I suppose anxiety could make his control issues more prominent, but to me his behavior is just a glaring red flag. Vegas is an extremely popular destination for conferences and business trips. apply jobappnetwork com elior; farmington, ct homes for sale by owner I have informed him and he hasnt taken it very well. And then he needs to communicate that to his wife in a way that proves he understands its not his place to restrict her behaviour based on his irrational fears. Agree that you should go to counseling by yourself if he wont go. Almost every hotel on the strip has some sort of tourist attractions be it rides, shows, or other types of attractions and you can spend the entire day walking from hotel to hotel to see what they offer and have a great (and relatively cheap!) I was fine, nothing weird happened to me, but I wont stay off strip again. Your company wouldnt put you in harms way, and your husband should trust you enough to no cheat or do something vegasy. Vegas has more hotel rooms than any other city in America, and regular flights to an airport located in the city from every other major city in the country. He and this whole situation is definitely unstable and unsustainable. At least thats what happens to *me* at conferences whether theyre in Kansas City or Honoluhu. Yes. Right. I wear a light, carry a phone, and stay in my neighborhood where I know whats normal and whats not til the sun goes up. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. Businesses plan conferences in Las Vegas because the rooms are dirt cheap, not because theyre planning some sort of raucous party. My wife is suffering from both major depression and anxiety, and she has her individual sessions to work on her mental health issue and were in marriage counseling to work on ourselves as a couple. Embarrassing Family Photos Make It Hard To Look Away If we could afford flying we would have. He could use some time and a space where he could work through these anxieties with a therapist who could help him think of ways to handle them better. I did manage to save the relaionship (even though Mothers anxiety never went away; be prepared for that too) I truly hope that you can save your relationship with your spose, OP. I remember being like, What would I even DO with all this space? ha! Theres a limit to how much they can make if they limit themselves to those who want risqu and sleavy. I know this is a long-shot, but anyone else think theres a real chance that this is the employee from this thread: https://www.askamanager.org/2017/03/my-employee-is-refusing-to-travel-because-her-husband-said-she-cant.html? Just Saying. I do sympathize with what you are dealing with. I understand your point, but I think that it is in the LWs best interest to suggest counseling first since she says her husband is otherwise reasonable and kind. This is very aptly put Anonymous Poster. Usually these things build up over time and abusive relationships (even if not intentionally abusive even if the partner really does have anxiety or whatever and is not TRYING to be controlling!) Its absolutely true, and she gets so. There is no one in his family who lives near us. Im just going to drop in some ideas and some strategies that have worked for me. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). My husband and I went for our honeymoon, we had so much fun just walking through all of the hotels and people-watching, plus saw some really great shows. My mother too. But thats a separate issue. Same here. An emotionally distant husband may often seem indifferent or indecisive about decisions: Vacation destinations. And while anxiety is common, abuse is even more so. You are married to someone who spent three days while you were traveling for work burdening you withgroundless questions about your conduct. For example, my wife likes to go for walks, and sometimes takes a scenic route while enjoying herself outside (She loves hiking and exploring in nature). We hike through Red Rock Canyon or the Valley of Fire. If I wanted to put on pants and walk across the casino I would just eat at a casino floor restaurant instead of ordering deliverywhich Im sure explains their policy more than security concerns! I wish you the best. Weve been a few times on holiday and love it the shopping, the food we dont even bother with the gambling. If it was possible to take him along I could see that potentially helping if the main issue is wrong information and assumptions. Conflict resolution. The whole letting her go thing could be controlling or abusive, but it could also refer less to physical ability to go there and more not letting her go in peace, or without a bunch of needy whining adult tantrums. $60/night + $30/night resort fee, and $30 worth of groceries for the week kept me out of the pricey restaurants. Honestly, things could happen anywhere, so his questioning that the trip is in Vegas sounds like a cover. This. Couples counseling can be super helpful even if the source (so to speak) of the problem is one partner. Sometimes, when a spouse accuses you of cheating out of thin air, its because they themselves are cheating, and now they see it everywhere else as a coping mechanism for justifying their own behavior. Someone this uptight probably doesnt have friends. My husband nearly had to go to Vegas for a conference a couple of months ago (were in the UK so its pretty far!) etc.. For work, though, it is perfect. That isnt what the follow-up says, it says they object that they would even let their significant others go. Hed go get a hotel room, and give me a call; he wouldnt be instantly homeless and alone, and I couldnt magically fix a burned house anyway. It is not normal or rational. This is part of your JOB. It reminds me of what my parents always said to stop me doing things. I shut that down fast by reminding her I was working an evening shift that ended at 11 PM. I think theres sometimes a tendency in certain corners of the internet to equate I have to talk to my partner about X before I can do it or My partner doesnt want me to do Y with OMG controlling relationship!, when there are lots of circumstances where that kind of thing is totally reasonable. Also by facing the problem together wife will know what steps he need she to do to get better on this/call him out if he isnt doing it. Vegas! Yeah, I saw that. This is a relationship problem, not a work problem. M.M. A room like that in any other city would cost 3 or 4 times that. husband doesn t want to go on family vacation. 5. source: awkward . Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Either way, the poster is mimicking them in an exaggerated way in order to make them appear more foolish and unreasonable than they would if portrayed accurately. In this case, it sounds like OP is bearing the brunt of the disagreement and shes doing the lions share of being patient and accommodating the husband hes not doing much work to accommodate her needs. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. I also had this thought. I think that it is much more scary to be hurt by someone you know, so people are more likely to believe in the bogeyman dark alley scenario. Street photography! Last time you went on a business trip, you spent the entire time dealing with his feelings about it instead of focusing of what you were actually there to do. Pressuring/guilting him into not going? Thank you so much for being the voice of reason here. husband doesn t want to go on family vacation Ive only been to Vegas twice. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. Yeah, I was hoping the OPs business trip wasnt over this weekend , This post was one of my first thoughts when I heard about the shooting . Go. Thanks. Not like us isnt automatically the same thing as toxic.. Menu. If my partner acted like he thought he got a vote on whether I was allowed to do things, especially things relating to my career, Id laugh him out of the relationship so fast hed get whiplash. I accidentally ended up at a naked sex drug party once, quite to my own embarrassment, but that was in Akron, Ohio. Las Vegas is not my favorite place ever because I dont love big crowds or gambling, but its just a city. Turned out my wife was in the backyard mowing but had taken a break before I drove up and my son was upstairs playing quietly on the computer. But Im not at all confident this is the source of the husbands issues :(. I agree, the posting guidelines specifically ask that we not attempt to diagnose mental issues, it tends to devolve into discussions about theories of mental health and people sharing their mental health stories vs: helping the letter writers. Since its also a town that does very well at marketing itself as a destination for conferences (their facilities and amenities are really good, and I imagine their pricing is great because of demand is high enough to keep them low) then it makes sense that your work is choosing it as a place to send the managers since it sounds like an out of town conference is generally a thing they need to do. It IS super pricey though!! Im just going to share my experience if it doesnt fit, let it roll off your back. Im betting its either a case of asking leading questions, an over-reporting of the amount of agreement received, or hearing more agreement than was actually being expressed on the part of OPs husband. Without any business context then yeah, lots of people would object to that. I speak as someone whose husband is both a counselor and anxiety-sufferer. You dont get an opinion on whether youre dumped!! Sure, that could be the problem. Vegas is changing a lot of its marketing these days to bill itself more as a family destination and/or more sophisticated and all that. Why doesnt he trust you? And absolutely do not let his anxiety limit your life. Who thinks its normal to ask around if he should let his wife go on a business trip, etc. A city with a lot of hotels and legalized gambling, but it also has residential neighborhoods, malls, schools, etc. I agree. Dont get hit by a car!! Its not a geographic nexus of evil or on a Hellmouth or anything, cmon! I understand where youre coming from, but this board sees people from all over the world, and there are still lots of places and lots of religious/cultural environments where patriarchal/masculine control/policing of womens behavior/assuming the worst of women is absolutely the norm, and there are enough of them scattered around everywhere that I dont think its a case of not everyone can have sandwiches.. Lots to see and do. I do know some people (who have never been to Vegas!) And lets not forget: its entirely possible for someone to dabble in being a controlling, selfish jerk without really rising to the level of abuse or being an abuser. P.S., you forgot to shill The Gift of Fear.. Say to yourself something like, I am not a therapist, and even if I were, it would be unethical and impossible for me to treat someone Im in a relationship with. Theres a lot of pressure on family to be carers and therapists and *everything* someone needs its not possible, its often harmful give yourself permission to skip that mess. And the concerns mentioned about What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, sin city, dramatic kidnapping scenarios, etc. I hope youll get the chance to play some poker while youre there. [He loves playing poker but seldom gets to play, as Im not a fan of the game.]. A year? I have friend who grossly exaggerates the number of people who support his stance, nevermind the the biasing in surveying. Dont answer the phone? If I died while on travel, hed get an insurance payout and be able to live without working for X months; then he could remarry or move or whatnot. In fact, couples counseling can be a useful path to helping a partner address individual issues that are affecting the partnership. And voila- you're on the coast! This will make him feel valued and appreciated and more likely to want to spend time with you so you won't complain: "My husband never wants to do anything with me.". I dont know that I am articulating this as succinctly as I could be, but I hope you know where Im coming from. I am late to this thread but Working Wife, I want you to know that I was in a similar situation when I first married my husband he was excessively concerned with stuff like this, with the subtext that he was afraid I would cheat. To give the LW the tools she needs to see if this is something she can work through to save her marriage and save her career. even though this event is in Las Vegas, XCorp still expects its employees to hold themselves to our high standard of professionalism, My team goes to DC every year for a conference and I always tell them something like, The conference schedule is packed and unfortunately were not going to have any time for sightseeing or tourism. In addition to bolstering his position in our argument it had the nice (for him) side effect of alienating me from all of my friends who I believed were talking crap about me behind my back. Sounds great. Its partially a trust issue, and partly the horrible stories some people tell themselves. 33 answers. We were in that stage of "dating" where we wanted to do everything together, only he didn't fly and didn't really enjoy travel. If its an anxiety or OCD issue, there are specific skills that partners and caregivers need to learn to support treatment goals and avoid inadvertently rewarding the problematic thoughts and behaviors. Tell your husband to get a grip, and then yes, get some counseling to get over this anxiety. Youre the breadwinner? Leave the argument and do that as consistently as you can. You are one strong person, and thanks for sharing your story! I bet youll have a blast. Therapy is really personal, and a bad fit or burnt-out therapist can be worse than no therapist at all. It was, instead, his own insecurity and abusive tendencies. Though those are also the traditional bogeymen for women out on their own, as evidenced by the many people talking about their mothers fears. A week? And, damn, every time I hear about kidnapping, it seems to be in Ohio or Mississippi, not places considered hotbeds of crime in US pop culture. It's not super fun, but not a nightmare either. How does he handle that? Especially if as I suspect he doesnt have a position or isnt in a field where corporate retreats and meetings are a thing. Be direct, and even brutally honest: Im not having this conversation (& hang up); Im not doing this again (& walk away); Im not changing my mind; Im not negotiating Im giving you the facts Basically, lots of Im not/I cant/I wont statements that are all about you and your limits. I have been to Las Vegas many times over the years on business, including a few times when I was completely on my own without co-workers to hang with. Your husband has insane insecurity issues. He should not be demanding that you refuse to go on a business trip and unleashing all of this unfounded anxiety on you. Vegas skeezy rep is about 50 years out of date at this point. Theres a third option: Insist on marriage counseling with your husband. Just last night I got home around sunset to find my wifes car in the driveway, the garage door open, all the lights off, and the house still and quiet. My husband never wants to go out and do things. I have to beg - Quora That would be buying in to his controlling behavior and it would be a bad move for their relationship. LW, my husband would be honestly fine with me going to Vegas. He was already in counselling and they focused on this issue for a while. We went off the beaten track and it was just like any other city. Is it possible that the way OPs husband expressed this question to his friends was leading? I see wholesome as suitable for minors and conservative folks, so yeah, sex work isnt that. I would idd consider flying. For work. They can also get into trouble in their own hometown. Because my husband trusts me. I thought my mom was the only one like this. I wonder if OPs husband has watched too much CSI? Dont try to rationally argue with him; much like a toddler, he isnt thinking rationally and it will get you nowhere. It took getting out (and lots of tears, letting some of the love-roots pull out from my heart with time and distance, and lots of therapy) to realize that he really was some of those things and others he wasnt, but it was irrelevant because he was still hurting me. we can all agree that either way, Husband isnt likely to change his behaviour without some outside intervention, so I do hope that counselling is an option for them. That doesnt mean I believe totally that hubby polled everybody and reports the results fairly, but it really doesnt have to be an indication that he ignored a local majority to find like-minded people. Meanwhile, Im building a scene in my head where shes been kidnapped and terrible things are happening to her. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. I have some of this kind of anxiety myself and totally understand where your wife is coming from. Im not controlling or irrational, Im protecting my marriage!, An outsider can actually say Husband, this behaviour isnt normal or good for your relationship. Or maybe its anxiety fueling a control issue, but I highly doubt that anxiety treatment will help. Las Vegas facilities can serve dinner to 5000+ people in less than 30 minutes without breaking a sweat. My husband was very upset. First, therapy is good, but medication is faster.

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